Assertive Communication
Developing assertive communication skills will help you to be a more effective employer. Assertive communicators express thoughts and feelings in an honest, straightforward fashion that shows respect for the other person without violating the rights of others. Using assertive communication will help you to get your needs met without having to dominate, humiliate or manipulate your assistant to do so.
If you communicate in an aggressive way, you might get your needs met that day, but you may eventually lose your employees. On the other hand, if you communicate in a passive way, you relinquish your decision to your assistant. In the end, this will make you unhappy as you begin to lose control over your own decisions. Assertive communication will allow you to remain in control, to get your needs met in the situation, and to earn the respect of your assistant.
Being assertive takes practice and is not a skill you can develop overnight. Practicing the characteristics and skills listed below will help you become a more assertive communicator.
Characteristics of the Assertive Communicator:
- Open and willing to take risks.
- Actively engages in meeting others’ needs.
- Capable of expressing both positive and negative feelings and opinions.
- Sensitive to the feelings and rights of others.
Examples of Assertive Behavior:
- Addressing a problem situation while it is in progress, rather than waiting until later.
- Objecting to specific behavior that infringes on the rights of others.
- Being brief and to the point.
- Avoiding bringing up the past.
- Never apologizing for asserting rights.
- Telling people how their behavior affects others.
- Being friendly, firm, and initially, if necessary, asserting more authority.
- Avoiding threats and aggressive behavior.
- Making your needs known to others in a direct, non-threatening manner.
- Talking to others with respect.
- Assertive individuals do not swear. They simply keep reinforcing what they need and want.
- Starting sentences with “I:”
- I need you to…
- I would like to…
- I feel this is what is right for me.
- I would appreciate your help with…
- I don’t feel so well today, so don’t take it personally.
- I need you to…
Again, assertiveness skills enable one to stand up effectively for one’s own dignity, respect and courtesy without violating the rights of others, while at the same time helping others to recognize and better obtain their rights.